I got in my car Sunday night on my way to small group. I felt horrible. I have no idea why I was even heading in, but I went. Sorry if I infected anyone there. But the point of this opening is that since my car doesn’t have a CD player or an audio jack to hook up my iPod to, I just stuck my earbuds in my ears, rolled down my windows ’cause the weather was absolutely wonderful, and cranked up the tunes. It was awesome. As soon as I started the car this song came on. It was like the kind of music you’d hear as the score to a movie as someone starts their journey.
It was perfect. I could have driven for hours. I probably would have if I hadn’t felt so bad. Instead I put it on repeat for my 15 minute drive to town and just enjoyed my soundtrack for the evening. The song? Bones from Hillsong United’s Aftermath CD. Don’t waste your time sampling it. Buy the whole CD.
Sometimes I like to make my own soundtracks to a certain time in my life. Sometimes the songs are songs that pump you up to get going, and sometimes it’s just the songs that just get you up. Music has always been a very powerful force in my life. I go to it when I’m happy and want to just rock out. I go to it when I’m sad, when I need comfort and sometimes even when I’m hungry.
Lately, though, I find myself riding in the car in silence. It seems like that’s the only place where there’s absolute silence. When I’m home the dryer’s going, the vacuum, the thousands of birds swarming my property, coyotes howling in the middle of the night or just me distracting my mind with the radio or television. But in the car? Silence. I start praying. I pray for my family, my friends, my vision, His vision for me, etc. But it’s not really in silence. I start talking out loud. People probably think I’m a raving lunatic.
They’re probably right.
The evenings I’m most productive at home are the evenings I quiet down…the evenings I turn off the television. The evenings I read the books I’ve been longing to read and write the blog posts I’ve been tossing around in my head for weeks. They’re the evenings when I reach out and draw closer to the One who gives me these things.
Man, living by myself is so noisy. The problem is is that I keep it that way. And then it sneaks up on me. That stench that I’ve neglected something for far too long and now it’s time to do something about it. So I turn off the TV. I turn off the radio. Shut down my Facebook and sit in the silence. And it’s here in the silence that I hear the faint stirrings in my soul. This is for you, Julie. This is where we’re going. You’re going to love this. Come a little closer. Lean in. Learn. Laugh. Love. Don’t let all these distractions get in your way of this plan. This is life like you’ve never known before. Yeah. It’s going to rock your face off. When it gets rough? Yeah. I’m going to be there too. I’m here with you. Where you are, I will be. Always.
And then I hear the faint music of my life’s soundtrack at the moment. The cry of my heart. Take these distractions. Use me. Break these chains. Be alive in me.
“You can take my dry bones
Breathe life into this skin
You called me by name
Raised me to life again
You can calm the oceans
Speak peace into my soul
Take me as I am
Awaken my heart to beat again
Alive in me
You move in the unseen
You set the captives free
As I stand and sing
You’re breaking the chains off me”
-Bones Hillsong United