Man, I was feeling pretty darn good about myself on my last blog. I blogged about how I was trying to give God everything, how I wasn’t going to hold back any longer & all of the things a good little Christian girl should say. Then it happened.
I was humbled.
You know that feeling way down deep in the pit of your stomach when you come to the realization that something’s just not exactly right? And then all of the sudden your foot is in your mouth and you realize that what you’ve been talking about is the polar opposite of what you’ve been doing…yeah. That was me yesterday.
So as in my last post I talked about this issue at work that I was going to have to deal with. Someone else was making a decision that me and another person had to deal with, whatever they decided. If they made a decision one way, everything would be good and no problem at all. If they made a decision the other way, I was going to have to make a phone call and I had envisioned a whole deal falling apart, as it often does in real estate.
I got the final decision as soon as I got to work at 8:00 a.m. I started gathering up my courage to make the other call because it was the latter of the two scenarios above. By 10:00 a.m. I decided it was time to text my friends to pray for me as I was gathering courage to make this phone call. By 11:45 a.m. I realized that by me not making the phone call I was once again proving my lack of faith. What in the world?! I had just blogged the night before about how I struggled with not being in control. I had blogged about how I was growing and how I was so thankful that I had a God that loved me and that I could trust and then I put off making a stinking phone call for almost four hours!
It hit me like a kick in the gut. Then it got even better. It seems that I was to learn a little bit of a lesson through this ordeal. As soon as I had come to the realization of my lack of faith, I made the call…got voicemail and then had to wait another four hours…geez. And in the end everything worked out like it should have. It was like God was saying, Hey remember our talk last night? Do you want your best or do you want Mine? Just to show you what I can do, I’m going to make this work out and make it very clear to you that your faith was lacking. Now, Julie, do I need to spell this one out for you?
I envision God being a little sarcastic with me. It seems that that’s usually how the point gets across to me best unfortunately.
I mean, seriously, I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I mean, I thought I totally knew that God was going to handle things, but for some reason I just couldn’t make that phone call. I was completely lacking in faith. Then I get an email notification of another blog and the verse that leads it off is this:
If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself. — 2 Timothy 2:13
He cannot deny Himself. He remains faithful. Hey! You! Open your eyes!! He remains faithful. He cannot deny Himself.
He remains faithful.
Even when I don’t.
He remains faithful.
I heard a song tonight that I hadn’t heard in a long time. I heard it and knew I really wanted to post it on here tonight. I’m so thankful that I have friends that care enough to pray for me when I ask them to without asking even what the situation is. If I ask them to pray, they pray. I’m thankful for that. This song reminded me of them. I think maybe yesterday what they were praying for was that my eyes would be opened to my lack of faith and that I would learn something about myself. I’m so thankful for my friends.
“But if you break down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy” ~ Patty Griffin
I had to use a different video because this one kept directing you back to youtube. This is one of my favorite singers covering Patty Griffin’s song, “When It Don’t Come Easy.” Check out Patty’s version, too!