Well, my goal as of January 1, 2011, was to blog at least once a week. I figure if I get this one in tonight, I’ll be right on track. The fact is, I really haven’t been home before 8:30 p.m. any night for almost two weeks. I’m tired. I’ve had a cold for the past week-and-a-half. I got to see my family for Christmas. I got to hang out with my family and friends for New Years. I’m blessed.
There’s some days where the wind just gets knocked out of you. Some days every phone call you get is just another kick in the butt. Some days, even those same days that nothing seems to work, you get to go to a meeting, sit with friends and make plans to show the world Jesus’ love. These are the days where life is lived. These are the days where we’re living in the tension. The tension of happiness and sadness, the tension of pain and goodness, the tension of loving and being loved. It’s in the tension where we can really feel.
Yeah, pain sucks. But what if you were living a life where the pain didn’t hurt? Because in that instance, if you couldn’t feel one extreme, then I’m sure it would be just as hard to feel the good stuff, too. There’s some days that really suck and I don’t want to feel the bad stuff. But I want to remember the good times and really live.
If you can’t tell, I’ve had a couple rough days. However, I’m thankful. A few years ago I wouldn’t have been able to feel them. Today I am thankful that I can live again, that I can feel pain and especially thankful that I can feel love. I didn’t even have to say a word yesterday, and my friends knew something was up. I love being known. I love it that my Saviour cares enough for me to surround me with people who know who I am deep down in my core. I love it that He knows who I am and knows what I need. By the end of the night I was laughing.
So tonight, while things still haven’t changed much with my crazy situations, I’m thankful. I’m thankful to be able to feel loved. I’m thankful to have a God that cares for me, and I’m thankful that He is always with me.