I’m sitting here thinking of what I’m going to title this post instead of just typing it. I’m running short on time and just really need to be typing, but instead I’m trying to be creative and come up with a funny title. Geez.
I’ve had a lot on my mind the last few days. I’ve realized a few things. For one, I’m happy and content with where I’m at and where God is leading me. Since my nephew died in ’01 those feelings have been just out of reach it seemed. Gradually over the past few years I’ve been getting control of different of my life. The one thing that’s always lingered there has been my struggle with my weight. I finally feel like I’m getting a handle on it, though. I’m eating healthy and I feel 200% better. Words can’t describe how much better I feel physically and mentally. It’s crazy.
Recently I was blessed to be part of a group praying over a young man getting ready to go to college. During this time of prayer someone started speaking in tongues, and then after that what was said was interpreted for us. Keep in mind, I was raised General Baptist. My one experience with people speaking in tongues was at a revival while I was in college. I didn’t really know what to think. All I wanted to do was listen. What really hit me this time was that God was speaking directly to this young man through these women. It was beautiful on so many different levels. Sometimes I forget how personal God is. He created us and knows us better than we know ourselves, and He speaks to us in so many ways. Beautiful.
This got me thinking about Spiritual gifts and what mine were. Have I really stepped into the best that God has for me? I know I want to. I want to be able to say that this is my gift, whatever it is, and use it to the fullest to bless God. A lot of my prayer time has been devoted to this because when we’re functioning fully in our gifts, not only are we blessing God, but we’re such a blessing to others around us. Just like those women using their gifts was such an incredible blessing to me.
Reading about spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12 lead me to read the “love chapter” right after that. I’ve been thinking about love lately, too. (told you I’ve had a lot on my mind) My nutritionist has become a good friend. She’s made it her mission to find me a husband. It cracks me up. Normally I shy away from setups and blind dates and the like, but like I said earlier. I’m in a good place. I’m happy with who I am, so if a date goes bad, I really don’t care…lol I’m happy with me, and I’m pretty darn cool, so it’s their loss! ;-D
This whole situation got me to thinking about a decision I had made in high school. I made a decision to not have sex until I got married. My decision was Biblically founded, but along with that I had decided that when I gave myself to my husband that I was going to give him everything. Not just what was left. I’ve stuck with that decision and am very thankful that I haven’t had to endure any of the heartache that goes along with giving those pieces of yourself away. While I made that choice to honor my husband that way I just recently realized (like tonight) that I haven’t made that choice to honor God that way. I mean, I want to honor God with everything I have, but most of the time He just gets what’s left of me. He doesn’t get my best. I sell out one way or another and come crawling back to the cross empty expecting to be filled again.
So it makes sense that the love chapter follows the chapter on spiritual gifts. Love is everything. We can exercise our gifts but without love “I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” If we exercise our gifts out of love for God and one another, I’m going to just put this out there, maybe we won’t be crawling to the cross completely empty all the time. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to give God everything we have. Not just what’s left.
Normally I post a song that goes along with what I’ve been writing about, but this post is so all over the place that I just don’t really know what to post. Maybe I’ll think of something by the time I finish writing here. I do want to end this, though, with a prayer request. I’ve had this feeling as of late to just get ready. Something’s coming and it’s going to rock your world. Now, I don’t have a clue if it’s good, bad or ugly, but I do feel like something’s coming. The feeling I get is not one of fear or trepidation, but it’s kinda just a feeling of this is kinda cool. I’m gonna be ready. I’m just asking that you pray with me to help me step into my gifts and be there at the cross ready to give all I have to Him and be a blessing to Him and to those around me. I’m ready for something beautiful.