Four score and three decades ago…

So I turned 30 Saturday.  I’ve had birthdays where I’ve had a hard time dealing with turning a year older, and I fully expected that to be the case with this one.  However, I was pleasantly surprised when I spent a very good day going to rummage sales, cleaning my house and then going to dinner and a movie with some friends. Sidenote…I highly recommend Killers.  Great movie.  Don’t let the title scare you away!

Like I talked a little bit about in my last post, are we ever really ready and/or willing to let go and move on?  There are some times in my life that I’m totally ready to movie on, but I’m not ready to let go.  Know what I mean?  Mentally I’m ready for the next chapter in my life, but have I really given up the past yet?  Am I willing to?  I think, also, there’s a common misconception that letting go of something is forgetting it.  I disagree with that.  Letting go of something is relinquishing control and taking the next step forward.  Forgetting something is just that.

Then there are also things that I’m more than willing to let go of and move on.  When it was time for me to change jobs, I was ready.  I know for the first part of my career as a court reporter I loved the job.  For the last couple years I was so ready for something different, but until I got the call for my current job, I was still hanging on to the job because it was safe and secure.  There have been times in my life that I’ve worked 3 or 4 jobs at one time.  I like to keep making money just in case I would need something extra at some point.

I think a lot of the battle of letting go and moving on is having faith that this is the right step, the right direction for us.  Sometimes we know exactly what we’re heading towards, and sometimes it’s a complete blind leap of faith, yet I’d bet that in both instances there is fear and anxiety.  I can honestly say that in my life there have been very few instances that I’ve taken the next step or made a big decision and felt completely at peace about it.  Is it because of my lack of faith or because it’s just a change and perfectly normal to be a little anxious?  Honestly, I don’t know.  My best guess is that it’s probably a combination of both, but really who’s to say?

What I do know for certain is that last Saturday I turned 30.  What I thought would kinda be a depressing day turned out to be very enjoyable.  I realized that I’m comfortable in my own skin.  I’m happy where I’m at and where I’m going.  I love some of the places I’ve been, and I hate some of the places I’ve been.  But those are in my past.  I was able to let go, and with arms high and heart abandoned I’m welcoming in the next phase and/or chapter.  So in the words of Superchick…It’s on!


About Julie

I'm just a girl struggling to find my place in this world like everyone else. Everywhere I look in my life and the lives of those I love I see God's love, whether it's in good times or bad. God's grace is here, it's amazing and He is totally in love with us!
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