So…I started this blog several weeks ago, and I am just now at least working on it again. First, let me tell the story.
So I had gone to work that Sunday, just like any other Sunday. I am scheduled to get off work at 7:30, and that evening I was clocking out around 8:20, which is not unusual on Sunday evenings. I began the trek home. As is usually the case, I zip over the the left lane – here in Texas, that is the PASSING lane (for all of you left-lane drivers) – and speed on home. However, on that Sunday night, I figured I was already late getting out of work, so I may as well take it easy after a long day. Glad I did.
As I drove along, I noticed several cars ahead of me braking, and I joined in the braking game. As I drove up a small hill and around a “blind” bend, a car was driving the wrong way in that far left lane – against the traffic. I am not quite sure how that driver got to even be in that lane, and I am amazed that I did not witness any head-on collisions as I passed.
It’s amazing how many thoughts can go through your mind in the blink of an eye. However, it wasn’t so much the thoughts that I have lingered on…it’s the question of whether or not I am going the wrong way.
Esau, previous to his decision to have his cake and eat it, too, was going the right way for all intents and purposes. He made a choice – he went the wrong way, if you will – that changed his future. He wanted instant gratification. Aren’t we all guilty of that? I know I am…and not just from time to time.
My thoughts about that car going the wrong way went from hoping that no one got hurt to how did he/she end up on this side of the road to other wrong-way events on the same interstate (it’s not an unusual story, unfortunately).
Are the choices I am making on a day-to-day basis hurting anyone else, or are they helping? How did I end up on the path that I am now on? How long will I be safe driving in this lane?
I’m at a point in my life that I’m not really sure of the answers to the those questions. I still love Jesus…and I know He still loves me. I have a great husband, a beautiful daughter (and another one to be here SOON), and great friends. However, some days I wonder what happened to who I was. I’m not trying to re-create that person, but I am searching for who I am now. As I am on this quest, I’d appreciate your prayers…I don’t want to alter the course of my future just to be satisfied today.